The Adventure Continues. Christmas Letter 2014

The Adventure continues…  Let’s just pick up from the end of our 2013 Christmas letter.  Adventure was not only the theme of 2013, but it most definitely defines 2014. 

Through a series of events, Dale realized that he needed a break from 10 years of youth ministry at Church on the Hill.  He didn’t know exactly what that looked like, but he knew he needed to step away to find out.  Only months away from ordination, he looked for employment within the Nazarene denomination, but nothing was available.  A good friend of ours offered Dale seasonal work in the Baker City area.  He was approaching a new season in the Spring.  He also offered to help with moving expenses.  Everything pointed us towards this opportunity, and we knew we had to make a decision quickly.  Our house was still on the market.  If it sold we could go and do just about anything, anywhere, but we wanted to stay close to Noah’s mom, so he could grow up knowing her.  In order to be debt free after adoption costs, we needed to find employment, and we needed to do it quickly.  We accepted the offer for the season, planning to stay 2 years, pay off the adoption and get Hayley through school and off to college.  After that, we would reevaluate and make a decision based on our long term goals.  I desperately wanted to stay in McMinnville where it was comfortable and familiar, where I had begun my adult life and made all my lifelong friends, but I wanted to a taste of adventure as well.

During Spring Break we headed out.  The adventure landed us in a community much like the one we had known and loved.  We felt at home within weeks.  Our neighbor, Verla, welcomed us with flowers, and our friendship has grown into a sweet arrangement.  As long as she brings me recipes and garden foods, I share all my crazy new food creations with her in return.  Our life of constant ministry relaxed into focusing on our family.  After a week of public school, the girls were blessed with tuition to Harvest Christian Academy where they could all attend together while making friends and settling in.   Our home sold within a month of us moving, making us officially debt free.  If we weren’t visiting McMinnville, we had many visitors who trekked the 6+ hours to check in on us.  Sometimes, we would have multiple visitors, which filled this huge space with love and laughter.  It was also a great meeting place for those who were traveling through the area to stop in before moving on.  Kind of like a Bed and Breakfast.  Our adventure brought us healing and rest.  Both of which we desperately needed.   

Our hearts yearned for chances to minister.  Dale started serving in the youth department and running sound on Sunday mornings.  During his long drive to work and back, he envisioned himself in ministry, but also had several hours of solitude to reflect on what this adventure was all about.  It was a time to forgive the wrongs of others and to see ministry from a different perspective.  Sam and Bethany Roberts moved to Baker City a week before us.  Bethany, Hayley and I picked up where we had left off in our small group in McMinnville with a few other ladies joining us.  It was a great way to stay focused and content while not working for the first time since I was 15. 

Once the season started, Dale would get up at 2 AM, getting home in time for dinner then heading to bed by 6.  Many times we would leave so we would not keep Dale awake.  This gave us many opportunities to explore the beautiful area that surrounded us, but it was not what we were used to.  Dale has always been involved in much of the daily routine with the girls, that we all felt a bit out of whack. 

Consent for Noah’s adoption was given by his mom shortly after the New Year, starting the process.  We officially welcomed Noah into our hearts as our own and started the planning process for his little life.  Just after settling in, we learned that Noah’s adoption had been revoked.  It was beyond our understanding.  Noah didn’t deserve to be torn from our family.   As adults, it was our duty to consider all of this before making such a life altering commitment.  A decision we had not taken lightly.   Our lawyer encouraged us to respond to the revocation by opposing it.  The adoption had already been approved and signed and there was a birth certificate issued, but DHS had not waived the home study, therefore, leaving an opening for dispute in the future.  So we agreed to the process, knowing we had loved and cared for Noah and intended on providing him with a stable, loving environment, bonding with him as our own.  Unfortunately, after months of preparation and several days in court, we were asked to return Noah back to his mom by the end of October. 

The weekend before learning this news, I attended a women’s retreat in Idaho with the ladies from Baker Naz.  Little did I know that the fellowship and message was to prepare my heart for what was to come.  We never signed up for an adventure like this.  How was I to prepare his little heart, and ours, for his departure?  The next day, we headed to Mac.  Dale, Hayden and Noah stayed in McMinnville while Hayley, Hannah, and I drove with 4 other girls down to Hume Lake for a girls retreat weekend.  That weekend was filled with a vast array of emotions, but it was needed for the journey that was ahead of us.  Unfortunately, things did not go as we had hoped.  Instead of dropping off Noah in a strange place without a proper transition which is what his mom wanted, we agreed on a plan at the last minute.  We dropped Noah off with my sister, Shawna, who he had spent more time with him over the last year.  We had time to get him settled and say goodbye, then Shawna facilitated the transition over the next 4 days with Noah’s mom.  This was the hardest thing I have ever experienced.  With the abundance of love poured into his sweet life while we had him, it was time to trust that God was in control of his life and would ultimately watch over Noah.  We have only had one visit with Noah through skype on Hayley’s birthday.  No phone calls.  We were able to see photos on Facebook for a short time, but not any more.

During this time, Dale was laid off for the season.  Visiting with our friend, John, in McMinnviille, Dale jokingly asked if he was hiring.   John replied with a job offer.  He said it was time for us come back from the desert.  Within a few weeks, Dale had secured a job for me and a ministry opportunity working with Jim Ramos, founder of The Great Hunt for God and we made the decision to move back to McMinnville.  We’ve had 4 offers on places to stay while we look for a house.  The reality has officially set in that we have less than a month to pack what took me 4 months before.  We hope to arrive in McMinnville on December 20, less than a week before Christmas.  The girls are excited to move back, working diligently in school to transfer smoothly in Mac.  While returning Noah has been so very heartbreaking, we know we are supposed to be back in our community where our friends and family can support us while we grieve, we will certainly miss this amazing place we have called home for the last 9 months.  It is like we birthed a new beginning.  It was a painful process at times, while also an incredible time of healing and growing and strengthening our family.  There are other mini adventures and experiences that we would love to share with you.  If you don’t have Facebook, you missed out.  Give us a call, set up a coffee date with us, we would be happy to share. 

Speaking of sharing, did you know that we love to share how God has taken us very broken and messed up and has continued to teach and shape us?  If you are not perfect, but want the one who is perfect to rescue you from helplessness, hopelessness and fear, the one who can teach you and shape you so you can find hope through tragedy and pain, let us know, we would love to join you on your adventure.

We look forward to the adventure in 2015 while we cautiously tend to our grieving hearts for Noah.  We know this is not the end of our story.  Boxes are taking over the house and we are weeding through what is important and what doesn’t need to come with us.  We are spending as much time with those that we have grown to love as family in Baker City.  It is likely that you will receive this card sometime in the transition process from Baker City to McMinnville.  This is our favorite time of year.  A time to celebrate God’s love for us, He gave us more than we ever deserve, a son… one that will save us from all the sin, grief, heartbreak and pain that this short life will throw at us.  For that, we are grateful.  As I write this, I am still not sure exactly where my heart is or how much trust I have actually acquired, but I know that God is a big God and he loves each of us, so he can care for us far better than any human can. 

Here is our new information, in case you want to visit, send us something or talk. 

Dale, Heather, Hayley, Hannah, Hayden, and Roxy Collver

PO Box 871 (after Dec 18)

1563 SE Susan Ln

McMinnville, OR 97128

Dale: 503-435-2545 Email Dale 

Heather: 971-241-7628 Email Heather 

House: 971-241-9248